Real Salt Lake can take their Hispano-Mormon pretensions and fart all night into the uncomfortable, weird underwear required of the flock!

Do you like the new ad fashions over on the right? Aren't they just fartilicious? I think the vertical is simply slimming.

Lots of problems with the men's room at work this week. First one of the toilets wouldn't flush and the problem wasn't uncovered until after someone (else) made a non-refundable deposit. This was repeated 24 hours later, though the evidence was of the liquid variety instead, and the building manager was not happy to learn the previous day's service call hadn't been worth the fee. Wednesday's problem was different, one of the lightbulbs over the stalls was out; I thought someone else would tell but by midday Thursday no one had. Friday was finally bathroom problem free!

Poopy passed away, BestFarts bows his head in respect.

The first few minutes of the episode of ALF's Hit Talk Show (which wasn't a hit, of course) that I happened to see this morning opened with ALF burping. Turned out to be a set up for a faux bottled water ad skit. Very faux.

In a meeting with a co-worker this morning and at first I wasn't sure of what I heard. Then a few more noises. He was farting! Trying to keep it on the down low, but I heard them. FART!

The last few days have not been good, fartwise. Nothing much coming out of my bottom or from the TV screen. Saturday night, though, was great, Diarreah City! Maybe the sushi was a little oily or something. Sure did crap and blow it out though.

Today was a good day for farting. Those Klingons have it all wrong--it's never a good day to die. They can keep StoVoKor and the big barge, give me some asparagus and peanuts any day.

Randy Marsh, after faking a raw egg breakfast, farting while he gently pushed his eggs around the saute pan. He should be my hero but that would take too much energy. I'll just fart instead.

The (Fart) Matrix

Fart Fart Fart Fart Fart Fart Fart Fart Fart Fart
Fart Fart Fart Fart Fart Fart Fart Fart Fart Fart
Fart Fart Fart Fart Fart Fart Fart Fart Fart Fart
Fart Fart Fart Fart Fart Fart Fart Fart Fart Fart
Fart Fart Fart Fart Fart Fart Fart Fart Fart Fart
Fart Fart Fart Fart Fart Fart Fart Fart Fart Fart
Fart Fart Fart Fart Fart Fart Fart Fart Fart Fart
Fart Fart Fart Fart Fart Fart Fart Fart Fart Fart
Fart Fart Fart Fart Fart Fart Fart Fart Fart Fart
Fart Fart Fart Fart Fart Fart Fart Fart Fart Fart

Reload this, Keanu!

I love my Chinchilla with everything I have but I would appreciate her acknowledging that she too sometimes farts. In bed. Like the night before last.