Gani writes in his blog diary of a milk. man... about his dreams with farting. Color me jealous, Toronto boy.

"It's a family recipe"

On MADtv: Stuart and his alcoholic, slatternly mom were farting in front of the semi-gay neighbor in a skit in last night's rerun. They raised his hopes by packing as if to move, only to dash them on the rocks of gaseous reality.

Today ain't as bad as yesterday but I have a pipeline-load ready to be lit right now.

There are days when I don't seem to fart at all. And then there's today when I seemed to fart no less than every half hour. Except, fortunately, when I was sitting and chatting with the bossman. Love that luck.

Wow, did you see Hugh Jackman and Billy Crystal blow big ones together during the opening bit of the 59th annual Tony Awards telecast? CBS' censors must have misunderstood what everyone elese heard so clearly. Very cool.

This is the way we fart

We pull down our pants, slowly, all the way. Next we put both thumbs inside the elastic band around our briefs and pull them out and down but just enough to expose the gashole. No further. We slide our feet out just a bit for balance, bend forward. BLAM! The explosion is awesome. Fear our technique!